All posts filed under: Short stories

How I nearly got killed because of a sugar mummy in Port Harcourt

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When I first came to Port Harcourt four years ago, I was young, bright-eyed and hungry. I had come from my little town in Benin City and I was determined to make sure I made money in Port Harcourt before I headed back. Very quickly, one of the first things I did was to start a business. I registered a company with the CAC and started searching for clients everywhere I could. (Click here to pay for your copy of Good to Go and save your copy) One day while talking business with a potential client who was the owner of a beauty salon in GRA Phase 2, I was called over to a lady who was getting her hair braided. She asked me what I did and then gave me her business card and told me to call her the next day. I was overjoyed. It seemed like all my dreams were about to come true. Not only had I been able to meet a potential client, I was also going to get a …

Always Stay Contented

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My friend got engaged early last year to a guy she dated just 3 months. It was expected. She was drop dead gorgeous with a smoking bod, so we all knew she would get hitched quickly. I was happy for her, ecstatic even but I wanted to be in her position so bad. The guy was tall, dark, handsome, loaded and generous, even took her overseas to propose. To me, he was the perfect guy she wanted. They started making wedding plans, fixed the date, hired caterers and decorators and paid for hall. It was going to be the wedding of the century. Ooh! It was all glits and glam. Absolutely something to talk about, it was elaborate.

She who goes borrowing might go on borrowing some more

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You wanted it so bad. So bad that it became a need. You prayed about it, you told friends about it but your birthday came and went and still no one got it for you. So you took matters into your own hands and inquired about how much it would cost. It costs quite a lot. You decided to start saving. You’d never save up to that amount, it was just on sale for a few weeks. You knew you just had to get it.But how? You decided you’d borrow from a friend or friends. After all your uncle had promised to give you some money, you could always pay back when you got it. So you called a couple of “rich” friends but they all had one excuse or the other, this really got you pissed, these where people you helped regularly, why couldn’t they help you? But Just when you were about to give up, you remembered a friend you hadn’t spoken to in a long while and knew you should call her. …

The trip that changed my life, my SOS experience

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15 years ago, I went on this trip to a camp in Oyo state, Eruwa camp they called it. I can’t remember how long I was there but I do remember not wanting to go. I didn’t know anybody there. All my friends were going to London, America, Disney land etc and I was going to Eruwa camp in Oyo state. I was miffed. I decided I was going to stand out of the crowd; I would be aloof and not speak to anyone. Maybe, they’d say I was intolerant and unsociable and send me back home. It was a good plan so I packed up my bags and went to Eruwa camp.

Tips for ladies in labour during natural birth

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If you haven’t had a natural birth yet, then don’t do it. Go for CS. CS is very safe these days with increasing knowledge in science but natural birth is natural. It’s not like its just pain in natural birth, its excruciating pain. Don’t let anyone tell you different. I thought it would be easier the second time around. Just allow me to share with you my natural birth experience titled ‘Tips for ladies in labour during natural birth’.

Child Abuse: I Am Innocent

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I was barely twelve at the time. Mama had sent me to buy some food items. I remember what I wore that day; a short skirt but not so short and an oversized t-shirt. Mama never let me wear anything clingy because my body was slightly developed for a twelve-year old. I walked very quickly because Mama needed the items urgently. I was already close to the market when I reached in my pockets and realized I had forgotten the money Mama gave me. Disgruntled, I stood at the same spot for a few seconds cursing my forgetfulness. Just then, a motorcycle drove past me. The driver screamed, “Comot for road!” very loudly as he rode past. I made to quickly jump out of the road when a hand swept across the road and smacked me hard in the buttocks. I was dumbfounded. The man in the passenger seat of the bike had smacked my ass. I stood at the same spot trying to grasped what had just happened. Everyone seemed to not have noticed …

Motor no dey marry wife

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This is not a very funny story but it’s an interesting one. My boyfriend had just broken up with me and my heart felt like it had been run over by a truck. While my heart was still lying crushed at the scene of the accident, I decided to treat the rest of my body to some roasted plantain and fish, you know, some soul food to lift my spirit. See also: Eat Pitakwa: Bole

Beamer, Benz and Bentley

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The month of December every year saw the commencement of my annual laundry service. I started my business when I was 13 but it only came into its name the year I turned 18. Before I tell you the rather interesting story behind the name, I think it’s appropriate that I explained what my company does. Well, we cater to the laundry needs of two relatives; Uncle Jim and Uncle Pat. Yup, that’s it really. Every year on the month of December, my family joined my other relatives at our family house in Port Harcourt to celebrate the holidays. During that time, I and my brother did the laundry of my two richest uncles. Well, he did most of the washing and I, mostly did the pandering. Uncle Jim is a pharmacist in the US and Uncle Pat is an oil marketer in Warri. They have very little in common except that they are both rich. Uncle Pat is slightly richer though, but who’s counting. The interesting thing about these two men is; you could never …