A few hours leading up to the birth of their baby, Kiki called up her husband and let him have it. She yelled at him and cursed him out over a past issue, forbidding him from coming near her or the baby and asking for a divorce (of course he ignored her). Then she rang her friend right after and burst into tears confused at what she had just done. Pregnancy is a very trying period for all involved. Forget the cute baby bumps on the ‘gram, it’s not a walk in the park. From the first trimester, through the birth to the postnatal period, there is an acute hormonal imbalance that will cause an effect on your emotions. Of course chances are you will be super excited at the thought of being responsible for life and having a mini you, but the changes to your body will leave you stressed, overwhelmed and overtly emotional. So it’s always better to go through the phase prepared.
I don’t cry at the drop of a hat and I’d hardly shed a tear if someone hurt or upset me. But I would turn on extreme water works for a movie, music or even a book, it doesn’t matter where I am, I would sob like I just lost a loved one. I have reacted and wept in front of family, friends, significant others, insignificant others and total strangers. I remember reading Flowers in the Attic by VC Andrews on a bus and bursting into tears alarming everyone around me. I am not ashamed of how weak my tear ducts can be when reading or watching strong and emotive material as it takes someone special to be able to put themselves in another person’s shoes and feel their pain. It tells a lot about a person and shows a high level of emotional strength. Strength to withstand, understand and feel what others are feeling. How isn’t that a blessed gift?
The society has set standards and pedestals for women that it can’t even reach. This has nothing to do with feminism but everything to do with double standards. The prettiest people are the ones who have no fears. No fears of judgement or criticism and live their lives for them. Have you ever met a woman so brazen and uninhibited? One who immediately draws you into her mental space and sucks you into her soul that you’re left curious, wondering what really goes on in her head? Have you ever met a no-holds-barred woman who goes after what she wants, is successful in all she does and just does not give a shit. A woman can defend it when she says “there is a method to my madness”. If you have, then you know you will ALWAYS remember her. She is purely savage, she is proud but not a snob. She is not judgemental, she is fun and exciting and extremely sexy.
Our eyes from birth are programmed to enjoy beauty, colours and appreciate nature. Why aren’t they plucked out as they are also prone to see evil and lead us into temptation without necessarily delivering us from the said evil? If that sounds ridiculous to pull off, why then are women physically deterred from enjoying one of the most beautiful things the human body has to offer? Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) otherwise referred to as circumcision, is the removal of some or all of the external female genitalia for non medical reasons. There are absolutely no health benefits for girls or women and is totally unnecessary. Female sexuality is said to be insatiable if the clitoris specifically is not removed. FGM is done as a means to prevent masturbation and is thought to ensure virginity, purity, modesty, beauty and fidelity. It is also said to heighten male sexual pleasure which is arrant nonsense because how would a man enjoy sex with a woman who doesn’t know what it feels like to be “horny” or “turned on” …
The clitoris is downplayed by all the attention shown to the vagina. This is one major reason why orgasms are elusive to most women. Some men find it so mysterious they stay away from it or maltreat it and others just don’t care, falling under the impression that thrust thrust wham bam thrust aaah! Is all there is to sex. Well, I have news. This miniscule but powerful appendage near the female vagina has so many interesting facts you’d be wondering why you never paid it any attention before now.
In a vastly homophobic society and with a sentence of 14 years imprisonment for the practice of homosexuality of any kind, there is still some segregation. Lesbians seem to be more widely accepted than gay men. Reality is, with religion as a huge defining factor, homosexuality is wrong. But why do people shrug and barely have anything to say at the thought of girl on girl action while hearing that a man kissed another man would send shocks of revolt down spines. The fact that there is more societal acceptance of lesbians than gay men proves that it is not a man’s world after all. We live in a patriarchal world, men are taught to be masculine, to be in charge and to lead. As soon as a boy is born, blue onesies are bought for him and as he grows, he’s given balls to play with while girls are donned in pink and handed dolls. If a girl wears baggy clothes and doesn’t use makeup, she is seen as down to earth and fondly …
On twitter a few months back, someone asked people to describe their heartbreak experiences. And while some of it was a little funny, most were pathetic. Heart break is a level of death that didn’t feel like finishing you off. Sometimes you wish it did, but with time you thank God it didn’t. Being heartbroken is one thing, but getting over the one who broke your heart is another, especially when you still love them. My first heartbreak was a bit of a tragedy because it was apparent that we weren’t going to live happily ever after. Neither of us was willing to totally let go, so 2 years after the first break up, we were still going back and forth hoping for someday that never came.
Morning sickness is unavoidable in pregnancy. 8 out of 10 women experience nausea or vomiting. It’s usually the first sign that tells you you’re pregnant. I didn’t throw up or spit up during both of my pregnancies but I always felt so poorly and developed a bad case of motion sickness. Sometimes I was so nauseous I even tried to force puke out. My escape mechanism is sleeping. I go back to sleep as soon as I wake up because I always feel so lethargic and miserable. There’s something about morning sickness that makes you feel sorry for yourself. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. I’d be thinking “why I Lord”. This self pity happens twice in the course of pregnancy for me, in the first trimester and in the last one. As much as I enjoy being pregnant, the beginning and the end just makes me question the need to procreate.
I absolutely love my natural hair because it does something most naturalist would find unbelievable. It obeys. Natural hair craves attention; it’s like a needy boyfriend. You have to listen to it so it can submit to you. I read about so many natural hair products and at a point, I went gung with that. The first 6 months after my big chop, I was just buying and buying. I’d see someone recommend something and decide to give it a try and still my hair just refused to grow. With shock I realized that not all products are fit for everyone and after some extensive research, I decided to revert to good old shea butter and coconut oil. I have to say I haven’t regretted that decision ever since.
15 years ago, I went on this trip to a camp in Oyo state, Eruwa camp they called it. I can’t remember how long I was there but I do remember not wanting to go. I didn’t know anybody there. All my friends were going to London, America, Disney land etc and I was going to Eruwa camp in Oyo state. I was miffed. I decided I was going to stand out of the crowd; I would be aloof and not speak to anyone. Maybe, they’d say I was intolerant and unsociable and send me back home. It was a good plan so I packed up my bags and went to Eruwa camp.