A few hours leading up to the birth of their baby, Kiki called up her husband and let him have it. She yelled at him and cursed him out over a past issue, forbidding him from coming near her or the baby and asking for a divorce (of course he ignored her). Then she rang her friend right after and burst into tears confused at what she had just done.
Pregnancy is a very trying period for all involved. Forget the cute baby bumps on the ‘gram, it’s not a walk in the park. From the first trimester, through the birth to the postnatal period, there is an acute hormonal imbalance that will cause an effect on your emotions. Of course chances are you will be super excited at the thought of being responsible for life and having a mini you, but the changes to your body will leave you stressed, overwhelmed and overtly emotional. So it’s always better to go through the phase prepared.
After labour, a lady exhausted and still in pain asked her partner to come cuddle her, a request he blatantly ignored. Confused at his hostility, she later found out that he was still upset over some stuff she had said to him a couple of hours earlier. I find that expressly insensitive and selfish given that she had just gone through a major experience that some women never come out from alive.
Research is very important before, during and after pregnancy especially if it is your first child, but the major challenge with some men is they leave all of that to the woman. They don’t attend antenatal and they don’t ask questions. It’s always best to read through experiences and FAQs with your partner to know what to expect as per the possibilities of stress to come and how to deal with them when they do. Truth is, not every man is man enough to handle a woman during pregnancy, so it’s best to get you one that can see past your mean words and put pettiness aside understanding that A LIFE IS GROWING INSIDE OF YOU and that in itself is a huge ass deal!
Mood swings are experienced mostly during the first trimester (6-10 weeks) and the last trimester as your body prepares for the birthing process. Most women who suffer major pregnancy mood swings or anger spend a lot of time alone so they put a lot of mental pressure and anxiety on themselves. It helps to understand that these mood swings are NORMAL and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are not a “crazy lady”. Fatigue, physical stress and changes to your diet can be contributing factors to your swinging mood. It helps to spend a lot of time with your partner, family and friends, also talk to other women and couples to get perspective.
The changes in your hormone levels can affect your neurotransmitters which are the brain chemicals that regulate mood. They carry communication between nerves. A baby first experiences the world through its mother, and minus external stimuli i.e. tastes and sounds, the baby also experiences its mother’s feelings. Different emotions trigger the release of different chemicals to the blood stream which is then sent to the baby through the placenta within seconds.
This is the major reason why hotheadedness is mostly linked to genetics. Sometimes, there are early signs of anger and impatience in some babies because of the mother’s state of mind whilst pregnant. Most of us that suffer from preg-anger (It’s actually a thing) would usually ignore the stuff we get uncontrollably angry over or at least deal with it in a different way if we didn’t have a growing baby on our insides.
The hormonal changes will make you resentful towards the physical changes, the discomfort and heaviness you feel plus the loss of your freedom and independence. These feelings can make you vulnerable and insecure and they may carry on after pregnancy and you will feel resentful of the 24hr demand of your time and the changes you have to make to fit the baby in. Many mothers gradually slip into postpartum depression because of these topsy-turvy feelings. Some of the moods you’ll swing through are love, joy, fear, sadness, anxiety and anger. So if you are pregnant or looking to get pregnant soon, get ready for a whirlwind of emotions.
It helps to have friends and family that understand and support you. Spend time around positive people, go for walks, see a movie, redecorate, read a book, exercise, sleep well, eat well and don’t be so hard on yourself because every time your little one smiles at you, it makes it all worth it.
Ms Ssygala, is the mother of two rambunctious kids and blogging is her last line to sanity
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