Love & Relationships, Port Harcourt Living
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How to bring back the spark to your relationship

When the novelty of being in a new relationship dies, that flaming red hot intensity simmers down to a dull blue. The honeymoon phase is like money, always quick to go (hehehe). Most couples just latch on to their memories of past passion and accept the future dullness as inevitable. The major reason why your relationship has taken a nose dive after a couple of years is because both of you have stopped appreciating each other, you have stopped doing things you used to do at the beginning. You no longer feel the need to impress them and you take them for granted. The truth is, relationship ruts are quite common and while you cannot get the newness back, you definitely can recreate it. However, both parties need to be ready to tango. One person can’t decide to make the effort while the other leans back.

Smart phones have become the leading cause of breakdown in communication between partners.

couple-bed-woman-ignoring-man-due to phone

Make it a point to pay more attention to your partner than to your phone. The first thing to do is to take a break together. Go on a vacation. It doesn’t have to be an exotic island or an expensive country; it can be a hotel in the next town away from the norm. Talk about the first time you met, communicate. Stay in bed all day just resting on each other’s arms and engage in pillow talk. Go swimming together or take walks. Whatever the case, the weekend is all about you and your partner, Focus on that.

Physical touch


Outside of sex is underrated. It could be a simple kiss on the cheek, a hug, holding hands or cute PDA. Touch, outside being arousing, encourages bonding between couples. It’s psychological. When they are away from you, they miss your touch and anticipate seeing you again.

Meet each other up for dates as opposed to dressing up and leaving the house together. It sprinkles on a little bit of mystery and excitement.

Go clubbing after dinner, get drunk, grind against each other, take off your shoes, dance on the table, make out on the dance floor… the list is endless. Goal is to have fun to the max. You guys aren’t boring, you just got bored. Shake things up a little.

port harcourt clubbing

Be spontaneous, sexy and romantic

Do new things together. Leave a note in his pocket telling him how much you love and appreciate him or what you’re going  to do to him when you see him *wink* Send her flowers with a cute note or pick her up after work. Be aware of the things your partner likes or needs and randomly surprise them with it. The thrill is they start looking forward to what’s coming next as they don’t know what to expect from you.

Nobody wants to come home to a grump. Smile often and talk about new things. If you’ve had a bad day, communicate with your partner but also remember it is not their fault so don’t take it out on them. You have had conversations for years but its dull to only talking about work and family. Introduce new topics and try not to be too judgemental, so they can be open and forthright with you.  Discuss interesting things about each other. Stimulate your partners’ mind.

Tease each other, be silly and have fun. There’s no need to form and be aloof, you guys have been together for a while. You can initiate pillow fights or just randomly tickle them. Let there be lots of laughter. Play 21 questions and discover new information. Work on your intimacy, go for walks in the evening and talk about the sights and sounds.

Introduce new sexual experiences. If you guys never tried the wheelbarrow, now is the time.

Falling in love all over again with the same person is one of the best things.

If none of these work, I suggest counselling. I wish you all the best.

Peace, love and chicken grease.

Ms Ssygala, is the mother of two rambunctious kids and blogging is her last line to sanity

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