As humans, we are bound to say the wrong things every once in a while and that’s okay. And in an argument between couples, women are usually the mouthy ones. We talk all the talks like we haven’t talked in decades and say things that don’t even relate to the present issue, and that’s okay too. But on random occasions, a man would let a statement slip and he may not even know he just fv%ked up because, in general, men are insensitive (argue with your mirror) and you know what? That’s okay as well. But saying the wrong thing to a woman is something both of you will not forget in a hurry, and while she may not react in that instant, she is going to chew on that cud night and day. Dissecting your words and trying to find a meaning. She will most likely find 10. If you put your foot in your mouth in Jan 2016, you can be sure your grandchildren would hear about it in Jan 2060.
Without much ado, I’m here to give you all the help I can (you’re welcome) and point out most of the stuff you say to your woman regularly without knowing you’re hurting her feelings or just being an annoying ass.
“My ex …”
I used to date someone that just could not stop referencing his ex. He was so annoying with those statements. She never used to do that, she always did this, and I broke up with her because… Boy please! You have no business referencing your ex anywhere near your current. We don’t care if she was Shrek or Cinderella, we don’t care if you broke her heart or she broke yours. To us, we are your first and last, all others never existed. Kindly get with the program.
“You’re not the first girl I’ve dated oh?”
Again with that. Same as above, nobody existed before we came into your life. Statements like that are insulting. It makes it seem like you cannot get over your ex and we are just seat filling.
“Did you cum?”
Errr… If you had to ask, then no, no I didn’t. Some men turn this to a mantra and ask repeatedly almost like a broken record after every thrust. “Did you cum yet?” Grinds my gears.
“Can I kiss you?”
Please why are you asking for permission? Stop asking awkward questions guys. Kissing is usually a spur of the moment thing, like Nike, just do it. If she doesn’t want to merge lips with yours, she’ll turn away. That won’t hurt as much as her “No don’t kiss me” will. Trust me.
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
Yess, yes this is what I’m wearing. The way a woman looks is important to her. If you guys are going out together, appreciate the effort she put in looking good and compliment her. If she doesn’t look nice according to your standard, take her shopping. Easy peasy lemon squeezy
During an argument, this is the worst thing to say because she will not calm down. In the absence of an argument, this is also the worst thing to say because although what comes out of your mouth is “Calm down”, we hear “Wild out!”.
“How many guys have you slept with?”
This is so common its alarming because guys haven’t figured out that they will never actually get the exact number. Might be less, might be more but hardly ever precise. Besides its double standard as women rarely ask that of men. Please instead of asking how many men she’s slept with, focus on being the only one she sleeps with from henceforth.
This is annoying only when you are the problem. You have upset your girl and 2 hours later when she’s moody and refuses to cuddle you want to know what’s wrong. You’re what’s wrong my brother. Unfortunately, you might not get an answer because so much time has passed and she wouldn’t know how to string the words together coherently.
“I’m not in the mood”
Dear men, for your woman, you should always be in the mood. I mean, of course, on occasion, you may not feel up to bedmatics, but be sensitive about her needs and let her down nicely. Harsh words and shoving her off you when she approaches will only make it seem like there’s another woman. And that’s only the beginning of what’s to come.
“This is how I am”
Men like to justify having done some silly thing with “That’s how I am”. Well, how you are is kinda nasty, wouldn’t you like to change? If everyone went about with that mentality, there would be no growth and no progress. If how you are does not suit the people important to you, making a few changes will make you strong, not weak. Think about that
“I don’t care”
You really ought to care about everything that concerns your woman, that’s why you’re her man tbh (to be honest). Saying you don’t care will be taken literally and figuratively. Even if you are less concerned about what she’s on about, she doesn’t have to know.
“This place is messy”
We have eyes too, we see it’s messy. You pointing it out is implying we are lazy and untidy. You don’t know what the situation is and why the place looks like it does. So leave it be or start sorting through the mess and we’ll join in.
“I’m seeing someone else”
Just break up with us, you don’t need to tell us there’s someone else. Even if we ask 100 times, those words shouldn’t come out of your mouth. Its okay if we hear it from someplace else, but it would be fire and brimstone if it came from you.
As ironic as this is, we don’t want you to hurt us with your words but we also don’t want you to be mute and unresponsive when we speak to you. Some men believe being silent saves them the trouble of argument, but on the contrary it serves to build one.
So, bottom line, gentlemen, let’s watch what we say, especially during arguments.
Peace, love and a glass of champagne
Ms Ssygala, is the mother of two rambunctious kids and blogging is her last line to sanity
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