It can be frustrating to see everyone around you in a relationship and you’re still single and desperately searching.
That period is usually when you make the biggest mistakes.
You become desperate and everyone who says ‘sshh’ to you becomes a potential boyfriend/girlfriend and you’re willing to settle for whatever comes your way. Guess what? You deserve much more than that. You should go into a relationship only for the right reasons; because it is the right time and you are financially,emotionally and psychologically ready to do so, and most importantly because you have found someone you love. Going into a relationship for the wrong reasons can be disastrous.
Here are some very unwise reasons to start a relationship
- Because you’re physically mature:
Uhmm… so you just turned 18, or you started seeing your period, or started having wet dreams, doesn’t make you mature. You need more than physical maturity to start a relationship, you have to think about emotional maturity and even financial maturity, because relationships are centered around emotions and finance. If you’re not ready for the emotional weight you’re about to put on, it will crush you and might even destroy your next relationships.
- Because of peer pressure:
My friends made me date one dude last year, most horrible experience EVER! Don’t make your friends convince you to do what you don’t want to. Don’t start any relationships because you don’t want to be left out. That mentality of all my friends are dating and I’m not, might make you date someone that will wreak havoc in your life. (This one is from experience, but my life isn’t wrecked though).
- Because you’re lonely:
You can be lonely because you’re alone and still lonely when you’re in a crowd. I think that’s the worst form of loneliness. Getting a boyfriend/girlfriend because you’re always bored and lonely is like eating ice-cream because you’re sad. You’ll feel better at that moment, but ultimately you’ll realize it isn’t what you need. So save yourself and the girl/guy the heartache, because you’re just using the person.
- Because you want care:
Some people are not ready to care for anybody but they want to be cared for. It’s selfish to be in a relationship because you crave for care or affection. If you want this so much, you have to learn to care for another person so that equal amount of care can be distributed in the relationship, no one wants to be the only one giving.
- Because of beauty or good looks:
Yes, we all love good looking, tall, dark, drop dead gorgeous, rich, beard gang fellas and the guys want hot, hot, Kim Kardashian looking babes. But pause and think for a sec, is that really all there should be? Looks can be extremely deceiving, do you want to have a relationship with someone who only has his/her looks going for him/her? Don’t you think someone who is smart and gets your witty jokes are important too? Looks fade. You’ll realize it’s better to be with someone you can have a meaningful convo with day or night than someone who makes up or works out all day.
- Because you’re heartbroken:
Rebound relationships can be absolutely disastrous! (believe me, I would know this one too). Most times you just want to show your ex you’ve moved on, but you still cry yourself to sleep. This reason is both selfish and stupid, you end up hurting the innocent person you’re in a relationship with and yourself.
- Because of pity:
“Aww… he’s been asking me out for years maybe I should just date him…”
“He’s trying so hard, poor guy…”
Errr..wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Stop, don’t do that. If you didn’t like him for years what makes you think you’ll like him now? You might eventually like him though, but that only happens in 2 out of 100 cases. Do not date someone out of pity, you might as well marry him/her out of pity (because you have been dating for so long already and you do not want to break his/her heart) and you will be miserable for the rest of your life.
- Because of money:
You ain’t no hoe! Or maybe you are? Money, gifts and the likes should not be the reason you date someone. Though I bet everyone will disagree and not listen to me on this one.
- Because of sex:
Conji no dey kill. Believe me, you won’t die because you haven’t had sex. Conji na bastard, but e no go kill you.Starting a relationship because of sex is one of the most stupid reasons ever! Don’t even let someone hear you say that.
You should start a relationship with someone because you like the person and see a future with that person. But until then enjoy your singlehood, the right person will come. Life is too short to waste on a meaningless relationship.
I am, @Lord__Nina
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