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A phoneless girl’s rant


OMG who invented smartphones?

What would we really have done without them?

Why do we need or love them so much?

Day 15 without my smart phone.

It’s as if my right hand is gone.

My phone fell some days back and broke, then it suddenly stopped working, I got so upset that I smashed it some more (I regret that action now, I was very angry at the moment so…)

The guy who I gave my phone to fix took one look at the battered phone and said “Nne, you need Nokia 3310 ooh… did a car ride over this phone?”

I laughed (I was pained, but I laughed).

Its been days and he still hasn’t fixed the phone so I’ve been using the popular “Nokia Torch”, all I do is play snake xenzia (I’m getting quite good, just broke my highest score the other day, 3857).

My parents think it’s a good thing that I don’t have an internet accessible phone now, but I feel someone should tell them, rather remind them that ‘an idle mind is the devil’s workshop’. Someone should educate our parents that the reason we hold on to our phones 24/7 is because it keeps us occupied, a lot of people make money with their phones,  some have found jobs through social media, husbands and wives sef! Do you know how many people with suicidal intents that strangers online helped talk out of those devilish thoughts?

Would our darling parents rather we started roaming the streets up to no good than lay on our bed and browse all day?

I think ever since I’ve been without my phone, I sleep more, eat more and fantasize more. While some people would think it’s a good thing that I’ve written about 20 short stories in my head, I think its unhealthy for me. I live in my mind now, very soon I’ll relocate permanently to the island my imaginary husband bought me last week. Did I mention that I’ve gotten lazy without my phone?

I feel they are taking over our lives, in a good way though. I even heard my dad say he couldn’t stay without an internet subscription for his phone. So no, people, it isn’t just ‘the young peoples’ epidemic’ now,it has gone way, way past that. Older hardworking people are obsessed with their phones too, social media and all. (Especially facebook and Whatsapp).

And I have it really bad (the obsession that is).

It’s so bad for me that as I type this, I’m thinking about twitter and all the interesting tweets I could make up. I miss taking selfies I know I would never post, I miss googling random trivia’s, I miss streaming videos, I miss so many things. I miss my banged up smart phone.

It’s as if my phone has become like the host and me the parasite, I literary live off information from my phone. I’m addicted right? Could you really blame me though? Smartphones are so helpful when you don’t have anything doing, you could be in Nigeria and chat with you bestfriend in London, or a celebrity in Dubai. You learn new things every passing day. I don’t read or watch the news a lot, but I’m always updated because of a phone; one my parents think is a nuisance. But let me tell you something Smartphones, Phones in general, are the best things that happened to this world. Oh well, I should probably just say technology.

I have this laptop, but it’s not the same as having a phone, it might have internet but it doesn’t feel the same as a portable mobile phone.  A phone is just…a phone. Its hard to explain the type of relationship you develop with your phone, but that feeling of looking into your phone and laughing is just bliss. Only those that know will understand.

Smartphones have done more good than harm. That’s my stand and if you have a smartphone, you’ll know I ain’t lying.

I can’t wait to get my phone back so I can sell that stupid thing and get a phone that no matter how I throw it ( I’m a bit careless, not proud of it but it’s the truth) it won’t break.

N.B; phone makers should please make phones stronger, they can like to build it with titanium, I wouldn’t mind.

What type of phone do you think I should get next, please don’t say Nokia.

I am, @Lord__Nina

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