So a couple of days ago my friend told me this really interesting story about a mutual friend. Lets call her Amanda. Amanda met a guy a few months back on Facebook, they exchanged numbers and started talking frequently. The guy said he lived in Lagos, but visited Port Harcourt regularly due to work. On one of these his regular visits, he took Amanda out for lunch where he professed his undying love for her, talked about how he wanted them to get into a very serious relationship. Single Amanda was thrilled to have attention from this gorgeous guy. She decided to give it a try and date Mr Gorgeous Lagos Guy (MGLG).
Months into the relationship she noticed a few things about MGLG.
He never wanted her to visit him where he lived, always made up excuses after excuses and would take her to cheap hotels instead, although he was quite wealthy. He was constantly making private calls whenever they where together, claiming it was work or his mother, he only called and saw her when it was convenient for him in the evenings. He even made her cook and bring food to his office and not his house. But as no one is perfect, Amanda decided to overlook these flaws. She claimed she loved him and he loved her back.
One fateful day, Amanda went partying and met a girl who chatted her up. Their conversation led to exchanging phones and going through each others pictures. Amanda’s new friend paused at a picture and asked, “Who is this?”
Smiling, Amanda replied “Ehhh…just my boyfriend”
The new friend started laughing hysterically.
“Mark is your boyfriend?” She asked.
Amanda was shocked, she didn’t know what shocked her more, the hysterical laugh or the fact that her ‘new friend’ knew her boyfriend.
To cut the long story short, Amanda found out that night that her MGLG wasn’t really a Lagos guy, he was actually Mr Gorgeous MARRIED Pitakwa Guy, who had 3 kids.
As fate would have it, her new friend was a friend to MGLG’s wife’s cousin. Twisted circle right? The new friend had laughed because her friend’s cousin, MGLG’s wife believed that her husband would never cheat on her, and now, ironically, she was sitting with his ‘Girlfriend’.
MGLG had lied about everything, from his relationship status, to his residency and Amanda was more than heartbroken. Everything finally made sense, the calls only late in the night, the strictly evening hangouts, the don’t touch my phone attitude. She had overlooked some vital information that would have saved her from heartache. She still couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this man who had promised her marriage was already married.
I think the most saddening part of this story is the confrontation. After putting up with the deception for a few more months Amanda couldn’t take it anymore, she made sure she got a few thousand Nairas from him and confronted him one fateful night after their usual evening getaway. MGLG or should we say MGPG was schocked at first, then he got angry and almost violent. He claimed he was not married and had no kids and went on and on about how people wanted to destroy ‘their love’. A rather disappointed Amanda had to show him his wedding picture to shut him up.
I discussed this with a few friends and found out that some had very similar stories.
Married men these days go around posing to be single, for what purpose I do not actually know and might never know.
Here’s a little tip on what to look out for when next you’re in a relationship or even in your current relationship to avoid unforseen contingencies.
- Does he take you to his house?
If your so called baby boo, suddenly forgets he owns a house, claiming he stays with way too may cousins, or his house is far too messy, or he wants to spoil you a little, but this ‘little’ turns to be ‘all the time’; Ladies, there is 96% chance that he is lying!
Investigate! It’s better to be safe than sorry.
2. Does he check your phone all the time but doesn’t let you check his?
What is he hiding really? Secret family pictures? Pin to his billion dollar account?
He checks your phone but doesn’t let you check his? Is that how a relationship is supposed to work? He should be willing to let you into his life if he’s sure you’re his girlfriend.
Get close to his friends. There is a possibility that he has a good friend that would open up and tell you that your Boo has another boo; a bigger boo with maybe children for him.
3. Does he call you only when it’s convenient for him?
You have to agree this is rather suspicious, why would he call only when he’s at work or when it’s 12 am? Is the Mrs. away or sleeping? Do you constantly hear “I’ll call you back I’m busy now”? I smell Fishy.
There are really a lot of tactics these men employ these days, while we may never know them all or why men think the way they do, we ladies can try to be more careful. Constantly be on guard in order not to fall ill like Amanda did after she found out the heartbreaking news of her MGLG’s deception.
Nina is on Twitter as @Lord__Nina
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