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Why Do We Lie So Much?

I was sitting with two chatty girls earlier today, waiting to be attended to at a certain office in Port Harcourt when I caught the phrase “She can lie ehn…” I was about to chuckle and shrug when I heard the sentence that followed:

“I mean, everyone lies but her own is just too much.”

Apparently, they were talking about one of their friends who is a perpetual liar. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but they were so loud and that part of their conversation took me to a certain phase of my Life. I brought out a notepad and a Pen and all I wrote down was “Nonye”.


Nonye was once my roommate in college, we were about the same age, she was good-looking, well-spoken, quite intelligent and very decent. I would want to explain “decent” as used in this context but that will make this piece very long and pointless so story for another day.


We were in the same department, same class, so we were almost always together. We became a little more than roommates, we were almost friends.

Almost, because I couldn’t bring myself close enough to be totally “in love” with her because she is a perpetual liar. I remember people (course mates, neighbours etc.) coming to me to confirm things she told them. The only reason I feel comfortable to call her Nonye is because I saw her birth certificate. Yeah, it was that bad.

Nonye had a child in the early months that we started living together, although she had already told me she was married and that this is not her first baby. I got to know that she was not married and that even though she had another child previously, it was not for the same man.

Now, I understand she was probably trying to protect her image in that case, but what can I say about the lies she told about her own parents, brothers and sisters; how she was a niece to Nigeria’s Minister of Finance at the time, how she had properties all over Nigeria, how she travelled abroad whenever she liked?

If “everyone” lies like those girls said, why then are we bothered about certain people like Nonye and the other girl being discussed earlier by her friends?

Are some lies greater than others?

Is it ‘Ok’ to tell lies? Are some lies more acceptable than others?

These are questions that need answers:

1. Why do these perpetual liars bother us?

I am very sure different people will give different answers to this question. For me, Nonye’s lies bothered me so much because she was suffering but nobody can help her even if they wanted to because she had made herself the Queen Of England with her lies. How do you save someone who is telling you she’s a Saviour to the Universe?

2. Are some lies greater than Others?

The Bible says… Forget that… Some lies are Greater please. Imagine me telling someone on the phone I am at home when I am not; then Nonye telling someone she owns the house yet she stays in a rented one room apartment, that she travels abroad every other day but she can’t eat well. All lies are equal but some are more equal than others abeg.

3. Should anybody tell lies?

I am about to preach… the Bible says Thou… forget that.. we should try our best not to tell lies although there are unavoidable lies

4. What kind of lies are acceptable?

No lie is acceptable. Some can be overlooked and some forgiven but there is no general acceptance of lies anywhere.  However, a single young girl telling a married man who’s chasing her consistently, that she’s married, is telling an important lie. A Boyfriend who says his phone screen just got cracked when his girlfriend asks to see his phone might be telling an important lie…well, until the phone actually gets cracked when she smashes it.




Lucia is on Twitter as @Hot_etCold

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